Don't leave ;

This is coming , all over again and I don't feel anything which could stop things from happening. I constantly whine more and you find it annoying where you would smile and pull it off in the beginning. You find eating dinner with me tedious , spending more than three hours of looking at my face boring when you could be another person whom you enjoy to be at the other side of the world which you don't intend to let me in. It's more than half a decade that we have known each other , and you still play your cards well that you don't even give any hint to me what is running through your mind while you read me like an open book. 

While I find you getting more charming with you just sitting there looking at your phone without wanting to spare me more details of the one word answer you give me when I ask a simple question , you find me asking too much with things that it's irrelevant for me to know and sometimes you just throw a brick right to my face saying that it's non of my business.

Yes , sure it is non of my business. Who am I to ask anyway? 

It wasn't that complicated when I've yet decided to ask because my intention was always initiate a conversation because I want to talk to you. I miss you , even if you just leave 5 minutes ago. And you get offended , thinking I am being over-possessive when I just want to hear your voice , just to talk to you. You could tell me about how bad your lunch was and how stupid your classmates is doing all the wrong things craving for attention. You could tell me irrelevant things and I could hear them ; I just want to talk to you. 

This have been repeating ever since we had a history and it takes me so much of effort just to get over the heart ache you give without realizing. You walk out on me more than once , and I always stood there to see you leave. I thought being in the same position , hoping that you could at least turn to me would get me something in mutual in the end - but no, everytime it proves my stupidity yet, there is no regrets.  

Sometimes I ask myself as I see you get up to your car and leave without any mercy , like I wasn't nothing that - god, am I that in love with him that I could let him stomp over me over and over again?

I do not ask for a romantic tie , or I am intending for you to pursue me. I don't need you to put me as the first on the list of yours , because I know that I could never be there even if I fight my way through hell. I just need attention all on me for a while before you leave to someone else , being in euphoria in your own state. 

I don't care who you are going to wrap your arms around on later and I don't care if you're going to fall in love with someone else later. Fine, I care - but it doesn't matter right now because I am still nothing ; even after I fight my way through hell and battle with all sorts of emotions I have in me for you. 

I feel so sorry that I don't worth any part of you , not worthy enough for you to invest your time in me. 

I know that you're going to leave me , without you knowing again. And I know you wouldn't make a u-turn to come back to me even if I stand at the same spot waiting for you. 

I get tired. My heart gets tired. My pillows are soaked enough to be replaced by new ones. I get tired of making plans to just hear your voice and to see your face which I couldn't do so after 6 months that you will be gone forever. I get tired of being a second choice , and tired to be annoying.

 You're slowly drifting away and what happened in between us are going to vanish. I wasn't worth your romantic emotions , your time and I bet not even a friendship. But it's okay. It doesn't matter because I am the one throwing everything in despite knowing the ending , naively thinking that this time it will be different - but, it gets worse. 

& all I want is to feel mattered , even if I am not the first. I could give you whatever you want just to have your one hour of looking into my eyes , to make me acknowledge my existence. I could give you all of me just to have you make me feel worthy.

 You are good at that, don't you? You are always good at manipulating my feelings, making me feel like I am the first choice until you meet someone better. You are always good of making me feel like I'm everything and throw me back to the basic of nothing , so why not? 

Why not do it again?

& if I could really sell my feelings for you on ebay , I wouldn't think twice but to give it for free . 

Garage 51.

It's irony how I'm so close to Garage 51 & I never visit there often. My family isn't that kind who enjoy a 10bucks coffee in a nice interior surroundings. They would prefer to pay maximum of rm5 to get a coffee, drink it quick and move on with the rest of the day. Or maybe, I am that lazy to even move around. 

The other day , JS was craving for pasta and I went online to check reviews. Some blog lied to me that Garage 51 serve pastas , and they do but not in the morning. 

Oh well, we still could have other things. -.-' 

And, they even offered Yee Sang for CNY.

Talking about Marketing, I think they did a good job for this but none of us will expect something chinese in a place like this.Either way, I will prefer to do lou sang in Chinese restaurant. The vibe is just different. 

Coffee Art appreciation pictures. 

The coffee is as good as Coffee Societe's . 

I don't know what is this , but he told me that it's all meat , cheese and egg which doesn't look really appetizing to me. It's pretty small in size so guys, please don't order something like this.

My Atlantic. 

Egg Benedict with salmon is always safe. There's some smell in the salmon , so I assume that it's not fresh. 

The coffee was good but the food was disappointing and if I return , I am either desperate for coffee or I am just there for coffee . No more food!

There's nothing better than having a good brunch with someone you would want to spend sometime with , despite no conversations. It was awkwardly comfortable. It's just something that you will acknowledge at one point. & it will ring in the back of your mind that you would want this to always happen and wish the one opposite of you to feel the same - even though knowing that nothing last forever. 

It's cheeky , but I didn't forget how it feels like despite that this happen long time ago.

And sometimes I ask myself, 

how long is forever , and eternity . 

gosh , I think I could be an alright author if I have good grammar. 

till then.

我到现在也不知道自己到底有没有爱过你 ,

只知道那时候

眼泪是真的 

心酸是真的 

想和你在一起一辈子

也是真的

In HKD #7

That's how I look like standing in temperature of 15 degree Celsius or less, trying to smile thinking that I will definitely look fab in the picture with the pretty background - and obviously, it proves me wrong. 

It's really hard to accept that the lights are actually real because they definitely look like digital background for photoshoot purpose. It was breathtaking , and I couldn't find any words to explain how beautiful it was. The wind was strong, and my hair went all over my face but it didn't force me to get indoors. It's a bliss if there is a good glass of wine , or maybe a hot cup of latte . 

I leave it without any filter. 

I swear there isn't any editing aside of resizing the picture. The tall buildings of HK did a good job , by not just providing shelter in these small land but also gives us a breathtaking view. 

God, I miss this. 

You have no idea how much effort we have put in to take clear pictures of our shots. I could say that it was asian level x 10000000 . We used the torchlights from our phone to ensure that our face could be seen. No, flash isn't a choice. 

And if there's no flash and no asian level x 100000 torchlight

then,

I'll end up looking like a ghost.

Yeah thanks.

The camera doesn't like me . 

I swear Chinkeat takes the best photos with the girls. 

"I hope that this picture will bring you back to me, remembering how we once were."

Does it match?

KW , me , with the wind. 

I really wish I have more time to visit this kind of places . I enjoy looking at the views , city lights preferably. I don't like to be disturbed when I let myself go , looking at them. To be honest, I might look dramatic staring into space with my facial expression scrunch up all together. But what I had in my mind was beyond words. It brings so much past memories, feelings and all sorts of thing which will lead me to another person in future. It calms me down in a way .

Still, I think it would be perfect with a wine despite the weather is cold. 

Last picture to resemble how much feelings I felt back then ; when this expression just tell you how annoyed I am with the wind spoiling the whole picture.

x.

With my sister.

I brought my sister , Jessie to my favorite cafe because she is really curious about how 'good' it is. She doesn't do coffee, but good brunch so I wanted her to try the cakes and waffles over there. Thinking that it will be a good time to bring her for a super late lunch like 4-5pm would be saving me some bucks since it's close to dinner time , but in the end it burnt one big hole in my pocket for drinks. 

I appreciate art - in this case, coffee art.

The savory waffle is so damn good. 

Both of us give it a two thumbs! 

Then we add mocha because she wanted to try.

thus, more food pictures!

No, it's not fake candid.

The people there actually say that , they have improve their choice of food and this savory waffle is one of the newbies in the list.

Sister.

I swear this is all candid . And she told me that, there is no need for ootd anymore. I didn't intend to take one, but she say that I just have to because of my polo tee. We both have the same mindset of , polo tee is not worth 300bucks. I don't even know why did I purchase it tho. 

Oh well, 

Somebody please remind me to hit the gym.

xx

First step into 20 at Play, The Roof.

I've decided to skip a few post in line , because I don't want this post to be too delayed. After all, I don't really snap pictures in the club unless there's an event or anything. This is something more major because, it's MingLi's 20th birthday.

She held her birthday bash at Play, the Roof on a saturday. 

I don't think there is any details for me to talk about because like they say, what happens in the club stays in the club. (PS ; i just don't remember anything) 

The view was great due to the city lights. The music was okay and I think the DJ doesn't coordinate the music very well. Like seriously - wrecking ball remix doesn't work in the club. The crowd was awesome because everyone dress classy and nobody attempt to just go ahead and grind on each other. If you finding for very happening atmosphere , just go to zouk. I like how I don't sweat much and there is enough spaces for people to move around. I guess, this is one of the higher end club. I can't wait to try out providence tho. 

Cheers for Moet - my favorite champagne. 

Oh god no, I don't stay like this with my champagne the whole night but we just have to follow the sequence of how the picture goes. 

Gary! 

Noh, he is not a Korean. You have no idea how funny this guy can get. 

failed attempt.

Lysha & I , and this is one of my favorite pictures of the night.

Ming, whom you guys should be familiar with . Loving how both of us are in black!

And then, the birthday girl joins in. She had to go around . 

And the night begins with more photos taken ;

KW in Kenzo! 

Loving how our coordinate matches. His red pants can match with my red cheeks! 

CK :) <3 p="">

Look at the background. The view was magnificent and I think people who dine in Signature, The Roof is really going to have a great night - especially if you enjoy looking at city light like this. Imagine the view behind with a glass of wine , simple good food and a companion. It would be perfect.

I hope you realized that I'm now holding whiskey instead of champagne .

I'll end it with this picture because this is my favorite out of all the pictures.

Happy birthday, Mingli.
I hope the first step out of the teenage years is going to make you a greater person than you have been before. I can't wait to join you next. This year, sadly we have not make any promises when last year we have rainbow cakes. The night was great, the party was awesome . 

xx