Sunday, May 30, 2010

In my head , you fullfill my fantasies.

I really give up on Physics , Chemistry and Accounts.

I read question number one for chemistry and I went blank.In my head, I was like *OMGWTFBBQ. WHAT THE HELL YOU TALKING ABOUT* and the next thought was "FAIL" .

Actually I'm here to tell you, I am still alive :p

Add maths tmr );

bye .

Current mood : MAD _l_

Friday, May 28, 2010

Love gives me Hope.

Just read ;
eveything from lovegivesmehope.

Exactly 8 months ago my grandpa lost his battle with cancer. By the end he couldn't talk and wouldn't respond to any of us.
A few moments before he took his last breath, he looked at my grandma and said clear as day

"I love you".
They were married 51 years.

I have had a crush on my close friend for a while, and the other day we were in town together.We ran into some people from our school who asked if this was a date, going red, I said
no, we were just friends.
He however said yes, turned me around and kissed me in front of them without warning.

When I broke up with my last boyfriend, my best friend was there for me. He bought a train ticket and came two hours to meet me. I later found out that his girlfriend broke up with him for it.
He told me that my tears were more important than her kisses.

I work in an ICU, and yesterday while on shift I noticed that the same elderly man had been sleeping in the waiting room for four days. I asked him why he didn't go home for a sleep. Turns out he is the husband of a woman in isolation on the ward.
In his words "We've been married 65 years, I couldn't sleep without her there anyway."

Today I was sitting in class texting my boyfriend who is in the hospital. All of the sudden I heard music coming from the hallway. The school band was playing "All My Life", by KC and Jojo. Our song.
He had arranged for the school band to play it because today was our anniversary and he knew he wouldn't be there.

Recently, I tried to commit suicide by jumping off a bridge.My boyfriend saved me by jumping in after me and pulling me out. When I woke up in the hospital he was in a hospital bed next to mine as he had suffered a minor concussion.
He looked at me, smiled, and said "I promised I'd always catch you."

I have always been depressed.Last night, I called my boyfriend crying, telling him that I wish he was here. We talked for six hours.When we got off the phone, I heard tapping on my window. I looked out to see him, throwing rocks.
He lives in Boston, and drove six hours to come see me.

My best friend died in a car accident on his way to deliver me soup for my cold.Found in the car was also a bouquet of flowers and a card that read:
"We've been best friends for the last 5 years. Now, let's be lovers for the next 50."

My boyfriend was eager to meet my Mom, despite my various protests.I pulled into the parking lot of the cemetery where she's buried, expecting him to completely freak out.
When we approached her grave, he sat down, said hello, and talked with her for an hour about how lucky he was to have me.

My boyfriend, lost his wallet one day. I texted him good morning at 6 AM, getting a reply saying he was at my school where we were the night before, a good 20 blocks away, looking for it.
I wondered what was in it that made him so eager to find it...
I found it at my house. No money, no change. Just the first letter I had ever written him.

Did you go "awwwwwwwwwwww" ?

Well , I did and reading all of them above make me feel so loved and cared by imagining that I am the one being in those situation.It may sound stupid, retarded or whatsoever but really, it gives me hope.Just like the website , Love gives me hope. I know I sound really pathetic putting words like this but it's true. I know I should not complain as things is not turning into worse and getting better but yeah, I will never get or feel enough.Well , everyone feel the same way at this kind of situation and you can't denied it and if you did, you are lying. You just don't know how much I despite being left alone without any replies and really, I hate waiting.Although I hate to wait but I still do.

Nah, I am not emo or sad.
I just miss the feeling being cared , loved and makes me feel like I'm everything.

And grimly,
I miss the feeling of feeling loved.

love ,

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Bonamana (;

I know I shouldn't be here right now but I feel so blur right now looking at my books after two hours of sleep.Don't ask me why I have the mood to sleep when I'm suppose to be stressing over exams.I am going to read my books after this, I promise.Don't give me that look.How am I suppose to do revision when I have not finish reading a chapter. I know I'm so screwed but yeaaah, instead of studying my ass off, I am complaining here.

I don't get physics , accounts and maths );
Yes, MATHS like wthismybloodyproblem, I know.

I think I should just off now.

Stress, can die .

Nerd Mode Turned On.


ps. Things may look like it's the same again but the fact is, it's not and everything's is gonna change.That's the time I hope you smack your forehead and say , 'WHY THE HELL DID I SAY THAT' but still, I will never forget every word that stabs into my heart that you have said.It's your time to suffer , I'm done with all your shits. Leave if you're done with me , too. I can't say that I don't care but I know I can already make it without you.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Born to make you happy .

Exam's around the corner and my nerd mode is not turn on yet.I am gonna screwed up my exams, really and I don't want to. I must study by tomorrow okay. And , I feel so relieved right now and I don't know why.But when I think of the papers I'm gonna sit for 2 weeks seriously can kill and it's starting this saturday and please tell me, all of you are unprepared. I use sorts of way to lie to myself that I leave my things behind and to study but end up, I'm on fb , texting and appearing off on msn. And I swear, I really never study. No, I'm not like those people who say that and score with flying colours.

And actually the song "I'd Come for You" by Nickelback is actually true. I can't believe someone's doing the same like the lyrics written to me. Okay, I shut up.

I just come here to tell you that I am actually still alive.

I facebook-ed not face my books
it means,
I'm screwed .


Thursday, May 13, 2010

Get a grib .

Exam's around the corner and I'm still here slacking like there's no tomorrow and I always feel so lazy. I took out my book , read one paragraph and then, I fell asleep on the book.After 3 hours , I woke up with my book covered with my saliva,ew and nothing goes into my head. Then, I went to my bed and hug my baby pillow then go to my dreamland.
Awesome much?

Dear Carmen ,
How are you suppose to pass the exam when you are acting like that?
Why you have time to on facebook forever and have no time to study?

Don't be surprise if I fail and I swear I know nothing about everything and there goes the beautiful red marks on my report card.

I really wanna pass my exam lor ):


Have fun facing your book , not facebook.

life's so sad );

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

It's just like a circle , never comes to an end.

Since a long time , I have not updated properly.
As in , list out everything about everything that happened
and stuff like how I used to blog last time.
And trust me, it may sound boring or whatever
but at least my visitors are still visiting.
But now, they are like running away . OMG D:

It's so freaking sad to see the bar chart getting lower.
Please come back , visitors.
My life is already very sad.

And I don't like to blog without pictures ,
it makes my post looks so short and boring.
I hate reading and I assumed readers hates it to
so I like to spam my camwhore pictures
and they call it disgusting .
But seriously, why do they even bother to visit
if it is. Visit already then shut the fuck up , thanks.

Okay ignore what I just typed
and, don't ask me bout my previous post.
I really don't wanna talk about it tho.

Monday , May 10

Canon IXUS is awesome (;
I didn't edit this, I swear.

Was all excited to school for the class photoshoot
and a lil moody in the morning due to pms.
I don't know why, I just know it when I pms.

Brought camera to school just to camwhore with the buddies.
And some of my classmates are still camera shy .

In bio lab ,

Look so pale );

Just like usual ,
took our own sweet time to walk back to the class.
That's probably what we do everytime
before and after the lab lessons , just to be late
and hopes to miss classes .

Bad student , I know.

But most of the time when I reach my class,
the teachers are usually not there yet.

So when the teacher is not in class yet
and I have my camera.
Normally , I will just go to toilet to...


Just notice that toilet mirror is really dirty.


Just a few shots and then get back to class.
Teacher reached already so yeah.
Potong, can.

Add maths teacher was absent
and so there's a re-leave teacher sitting there
and let us make noise ? LOL, she doesn't care.

Our oh-so-cute monitor , Charlyee
was trying to put us in the correct place
and so we roughly just stand in our place
according to our height and those.
It was real messy tho but yeah.

Just straight after that ,
we are ready to get to the great hall for it.
Everyone, as in the boys and girls
rushed into the toilet and start fixing their hair and those.
Vainpots we have in school, huh xD

Then to the great hall when we were waiting outside
for our turn,

Donniena (L)

And this angle of camwhoring is called the 'Donniena angle' because she always camwhore from this angle .

Just a few up there ,
check out more in facebook.
Facebook is the best book ever ! =D

I don't like this picture but 'Xiu Ming Chan' face is priceless (;

I like.

Have no idea why suddenly become group photo.

And our place was kinda arranged again.
The photoshoot was face tho
and I totally forget what I did for candid
and I hope it will be a good one tho
because last year's class photo was awesome.
Infact, it's the best among the three years.

Taking our own sweet time to walk back, again-.-

Srikl students ar, no hope already one la.

Walk back slowly already very wrong.
Somemore camwhore on the way back (;
No hope already , no hope already.


Me : FUCK!



I like (;

And the people behind was trying to do a jump shot,
and there..

Not ready not ready.

Not bad Not bad hahahahaah.

And, we was trying to take a 'formal' one .



I like (;

And we give up so we...


Forced Puan Asmawati in here (;

I think it's the best picture among all.

And you know what ,
We wasn't late for class and everything LOL.

Did addmaths revision (;

Tuesday, May 11

Which means today

Today's timetable was kinda stressful tho.
It's like all the subject is cramped together.
And I can't imagine how am I suppose to survive
in the two periods of chemistry in the lab tmr
with the new teacher. She look so scary , in a way.
Don't really kinda fancy her.

And today was plain tired , Idk why.

Have fun hanging around with XiuMing , Xuelin, Yuhung & Eugene
in AC , some bonding session but not really.
And we walked under the rain together.
So romantic okay (;

Xuelin left , then the four of us went to Starbucks
and chill there since we still have alot of time.
Of course we're not that rich to spend so much money.
KahMing gave us some coupons and so yeah (;
Bonding session again?!

I like tuition! ALOT.

that's enough for today.
I took so long for this post.

Night .


Saturday, May 8, 2010

I learned to be alone , to be strong and to not cry when you're not around.

Today is boring and Idk what's wrong with me,
I woke up at 12pm , like wth so early -.-
And I did my homework , and tuition's one too.
OMG , I feel so proud of myself
but now the prob is , I have nothing to do.

I don't feel like studying either ,
or maybe I should do some revision later or something.
Maybe , just maybe .

Life's so sad , you know.
For the first time, I am trying to do my homework
all by myself and yes , I'm almost done then

and now, I left the last two question blank
because I just lost my mood to do homework.
Oh greeeeat.

And my nail is retarded.
Okay, Life's is really sad.

pictures from the sleepover last week.

Okay, everyone was grabbing for the blanket .

And the pillow fight :D ;D

I like.

I like.

Much more in facebook ,
check it out there .

You realise ?
Time have been passing real fast.
Can you believe it's May already?!

One more month to my birthday
and I still remember , last year
I was busy preparing for my 15th birthday
at my place and those time , I stayed up
just to make the invitations and all.
It was all memorable , really.

But this year , I don't wanna make it big.
I just wanna have dinner or something
with a few close friends and that's enough.
Too lazy to call everyone and to make sure
whether they can come or not , it's a lil annoying.
I still have one month to go anyway
or maybe I should just stay at home .
I'm really lazy nowadays .

Mid year's around the corner and I'm totally not ready.
I will actually fail. No wait, I'm already gonna fail.
Form4 sucks.I wanna go back to form3.
I rather suffer with PMR , seriously.

Dramas and dramas and dramas ,
When will they actually stop?
I hate it when everytime I thought it's the end,
it's not and everything turns another round
and let all of us suffer another round.
Why can't some people just leave things alone
and live their own life and stop dramas.

Life is getting better , I guess
and I should just stop complaining so much .

I should go spend sometime to think
where to have dinner and who to call
to celebrate my birthday .
I don't care how many is going and everything.
I just want my close friends to be there.

I'm not emo.

And ,

I mish you so muchie , bitch );


Monday, May 3, 2010

Run Devil Run!

Sorry for being so late.
Blogger was being a bitch , internet too
and I wasn't in a mood so yeah , no updates.
Okay bad reasons , forger bout it pffft.

And I was like two days late in facebook too
because I was busy resizing the pics.
I kinda regret deleted that many tho
and I'm left with a hundred or so pictures.
My goal is to reach 300 pictures but failed.
everyone hates me TT

Girls was suppose to be early over at my place
but instead of them, they boys came earlier.
Was worry about them getting ready since
there's so many of them but was okay, I guess.
I was a little piss off because I was so stressed out
and end up, my lip colour was like shit, great.

Was kinda late tho.
But overall , not really lar harhar :D

Sat at table 11 , was really back tho.
And the people start walking in
but didn't bother much so yeah .

Pictures (;

Jean was gorgeous.

Went out when the food's served.
Didn't really care bout it for camwhoring (;
Girls ma rightt..

Eugene looking great that night, don't you think so?


And then , toilet breaks .
It's suppose to be the best place for us to camwhore
but I only got a few pics , daaaaamn sad.

This is ShihNing and I call her Penguin.
Something adorable about her is , she buy me hello panda when I'm emo. Shooo cute (;

LiVon ; pretty can die.

I like (;

On the way back from toilet
and these people were forced to be in the cam xD

SeeTiem (; No make up also so cute. wth !

Kevan .

Didn't get to eat so much of the food.
Had shark fin's soup and yeah , the best .
Then chicken or idk whatever is it .


Zheng (;

KahMing .

Everyone went out and take pictures outside.
And yeah , everyone was outside .
Just "a few" here .



All black on the right.

Jae (;

Grouppieee (;

Went back in , ate the rice and took the rest for a while.

Dancefloor starts around 1015pm or so.
Pulled everyone to the dancefloor
and gosh, it was hell squeezey and
everyone was so shy

But slowly and slowly...

they gone mad .
LOL nick.

And after that ,

Dancefloor ftw

After an hour....


Of course , we rest inbetween .
Took off the heels half way because my heels was
hurting my leg like crap so yeah.
It was hell one of the night .

Rested for awhile then walk down
then half way , rest again -.-


Then , people left one by one.

Some of us went to 7e to get drinks
then stoned at kfc for aircond .
Wait till my grandpa came over and fetch.

Didn't sleep that early of course.
Some was over at my place
and yes, it was really nice?
I couldn't find that word but yeah .

I am really out of words
because I could barely remember the details
since it's last friday but overall, it's awesome.

Couldn't wait for next year's one tho.
We shall double up the fun .

I got to go to bed now ,
night .