Monday, December 28, 2015

I learn to accept - 2015.

December has been a busy month for me - a lot of work from uni, a lot of travelling and a lot of random last minute plan.

 Last year December, my thoughts and perspectives towards things are so different. I'm glad that I grow every year. However, I am not sure if I have become a better person. Last year December was filled with too much of emotions which does not really matter to me now - maybe it still does, but I've learn how to slowly putting it away from affecting my throughout everything. I'm thankful to be able to travel around the UK for the past month and visit many beautiful places which I've never thought I would have the chance to visit. 

I wish I could articulate all the thoughts from the experience I gained throughout many dramatic scenarios and last minute travelling around the places in words , to show you how much I've learned from it. It would be too lengthy and I think it's unnecessary to bore you with things that you may not be interested in so I have decided to summarize them. 

Things I've learned this year ; 

1. No matter how difficult the situation is, it will pass. Things will get better in the end, you just need to wait.

2. Distance is so important - and sometimes, it creates a greater connection between people. When you get too close, you get hurt. Always draw a mere line in between. 

3. Nothing breaks my heart more than seeing my ahma cried over the phone when I am at the other side of the world. I will always be her granddaughter till the day that I don't exist in the world, but it feels like she have lose me when I am far away.

4. Travelling makes my problems so small to be even regarded as problems. 

5. Being independent is a choice.

6. Nothing makes me happier than seeing my love ones happy , despite I am not the reason of it and will never be the reason of it anymore. I will stay in a corner and see them live their life without me. 

7. If you love something too much, let it go - if it comes back, it will be yours. If not, it was never meant to be in the first place.

8. Saying goodbye always hurt - in future, I only want to meet people that I will only say goodnight to. 

9. Promises are empty until there is an action out of the words said. 

10. I realized that I can cook pretty well. (lol)

11. No matter what you do, there will always be people commenting. The better you get, the uglier the comments are. 

12.People who talks bad about you is either jealous of you, want to be you and realized that they can never be you. So screw them and live your life.

13. Time does not really heal, it only eases the pain with good memories created. Sometimes, it still hurts when it crashes down in the middle of the night.

14, My alcohol intake increased (wtf)

15. Changing an environment to live is a good choice to grow and to forget.( at least, try to)

There are many more things I want to tell you which could be summarised in a short quote. However, it would be too private to be shared because I only want it to be buried at the back of my head. It belongs to me and only me.

I hope that you learn something from 2015. Last year, I wanted a closure. This year, I learn to accept that sometimes, there will not be reasons to closure. Things just end according to the time. 

Enjoy the last few days of 2015.