Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Space.





Since young, I am taught to share things. And honestly, I hate to do so. Especially when it comes to things where it belongs solely to me. I know that by sharing is a way of showing how much you care for a person. But we got to be realistic because there are some things we cannot share. 
For me, one of it is personal things such as feelings and emotions. 

Not everyone that ask about you truly give a damn. Many of them are just lending their ears because they are just being a busybody. So, there is no point to disclose yourself completely because some of them don't deserve to know you like that. 

Our generation put 'goals' on lives of people we are not living through. It is easy to love what is seen, not known.
As for me, I don't think there is a need to let people truly know what is inside my head. Maybe it is insecurity. But the choice lies within me of what I want to disclose. I don't trust easily. And even if I trust someone, I still keep something within myself. Some people genuine care about me and I know that very well. They do feel offended that I didn't share, or worry that I always hide things.

I've already learnt from my mistake. 

I don't need anyone to care or ask about me. I don't need a whole lot of attention when I feel sad. It's nice that people ask. But when I chose not to answer, minimum respect is expected from me. I appreciate that people could see the emotions within me but I definitely don't appreciate people crossing the boundaries of wanting to know details about my life. I don't like being pestered to answer questions due to anyone's curiosity. 
I want space. I need space. and, I like space within people. 
So that there is a room for anything. Being too close sometimes make things difficult. 

I refuse to share - especially when it comes to negativity. 
Just because I am feeling that, it doesn't mean anyone else deserve to feel it with me. 

I refuse to romanticize sadness like those overrated novels. I don't think it's healthy to glorify heartbreaks and disappointments. We do feel that way at some point but I wouldn't support someone to live within that for their whole life, or make it seems very normal. Everyone deserves to be happy and love. 

So, don't.

Don't force me to answer anything I don't want to. 
This is the bare minimum in respect expected from me.