Monday, January 20, 2014

Growing apart.

I've decided to reread my old blogpost today from long long time ago - from I'm sixteen and the only thing which is important to me is to make up my mind where to go for lunch on friday afternoon after school or, what movie to catch with my friends. It was all so simple back then that all I could do is smile right now , realizing how carefree I was. All I want to do is to spend more time with my friends before we part into separate ways in future , which is already happening. It was so yesterday , or yesterday had already long gone that I didn't seem to realize it. 

It's never nice to come across to old photos , or take a step into old memories even if it's nostalgia. Because after all the happiness and pleasure you feel from the past, it will be replaced by emptiness and the numbness you feel right on your chest that will remove the curve of the tip of your lips right away. It's another kind of complicated feeling we will often feel in life , but not realizing it. It's always something regretful for us because we never cherish the moment we had when everything was perfect - when we only have a few names to remember when we want to do something, when we only back that few friends up in situations because we are altogether, when we are doing things without caring about the consequences , when we do random lame things knowing that we will later regret in future , when we only have the few of them filled up our 'true friends' list. 

I sit down , looking back at pictures I used to take and then remember the things I used to do with my close friends . Slowly the memories just play like a continuous movie in my mind realizing that I've spent my most innocent , carefree and youthful days with them. 

All I could say that ,
Damn , everything was amazing.

Then it's continue by the heartbreaking reality that I've realize that we are slowly going far away , almost getting apart. We see each other in school everyday , despite being in different class and still caught up with each other's life. But right now, all we could do is to talk through social app or look at each other's life through pictures which is not involving us - all of us. You see them wearing new clothes , taking pictures with people you don't know with the same smile you used to see almost everyday , doing new things which don't involve you. It's heartbreaking knowing that, you couldn't be part of the memory they are making right now and in future. And so, the memories you used to have is more appreciated and you feel blessed you took a part in their past , filled with happiness. 

And this is us during prom , in year 2011 when we were seventeen.

Oh, we used to have so much good times together .

When there is no arguments , no new people coming inbetween the slits , no grudges but just innocence and pure friendship. And I guess, they say highschool friends are the most valuable and most remembered is true. Because we were all so innocent and slowly changed into a more matured person . Then, we change our perspective in life and the way we want to have fun. We meet new people, try different things and have new favorite hobby which we don't do together. 

I guess, this is what they say by growing up. 
I never knew that growing up , might actually grow us apart . 

And I hope that no matter whatever incident encounter in future and how far away we are from each other ,
we will remember the things we once do together , the place we used to go , the happiness we used to feel and the times where we only had each other. 

I'd hope that we will remember that ,
We are not just high school friends , we are each other's backbone - we can always fall back into each other no matter what happens.