Wednesday, July 14, 2010

It's complete over but , would you please give me a moment to take a good look at you before you leave?


Not gonna waste time for introductions
and ,
those pictures below are all I've got for Cheer 2010 because that's all people have tagged me and maybe they will be more in future but I know you people couldn't wait so forget about it.Really, I have not been to Cheer for my past hIghschool life because I thought it would be dull and boring but now, I really enjoy it especially with my friends around shouting and screaming together like jakuns. It's really awesome to see teachers cheering too because they usually look so decent and strict in class but being there , wearing the same shirt and hold the cut board and pom poms , they are just like us. Never felt so close with teachers before and really, the feeling's awesome.

I may sound abit weird or whatever but really, that's how I actually felt.

Enough , pictures ?


I know it's really little okay but I am too lazy to go around and tag myself and those. Better than no pictures right , I wanted to update bout Ashley's and Monotone's birthday but I guess I need alot of time and I really feel kinda sleepy now so , forget bout it. Maybe next post?

and from six billion secrets ;

I know a lot more than you think I do. I know that you asked out that girl before you asked me. I know she's better than I am. I know she flirts with you when she's around you. I know that you flirt back. And I know that you like her. A lot. I just want you to remember you have my heart. Please don't break it.

I wish one day someone would say to me those 3 words
. Those 3 words I've waited so long to hear, that I'm almost bursting. Those 3 words that probably don't mean a lot to other people. I wish someone would say 'Are you okay?' to me.

I try my hardest to please everybody around me. I try to make everyone happy. I try so hard to not disappoint anyone. I just wish someone would realize how hard I try. I also wish someone would do the same for me.

I help all my friends whenever I can, I make sure that they can come to me whenever for whatever reason. I want them to know that i will always be there for them no matter what and will never judge them. I wish i had someone like that.

I see people with eating disorders that are fighting to recover, while I try harder and harder every day to starve myself until I lose weight.I want to be like them. And I hate myself for that.

I drink because of you. i drink to forget you. I drink so it won't hurt anymore. I drink so that you will see me and realize I am having a good time without you. But mostly, I drink so that you will worry when I've had too much, hold me when I am tripping over my own feet, and comfort me when I start crying.

When I'm with my friends having a good time I have random mental breakdowns and start crying. I tell them my cousin's dying and I can't imagine her being unable to have these good times we're having.
Maybe one of these days I'll be honest and replace the word cousin with me.

I told people I hated you and would never like you. That was a LIE. I did it to see if you would look over at me with hurt in your eyes, to show me you really cared.

You didn't look. And i'm still waiting for you.

I lied. I didn't take my medication at all this summer.

And it was the best.

It may seem like I’m completely over you, and I may have tricked you into thinking so. But, honestly… every time I see or talk to you I want to die.
I miss you, more than you could imagine.

I miss seeing your name lighting up whenever you talk to me on MSN.You don’t start conversations with me anymore. And I’m too scared to start one.

And sometimes ,
websites like this is just awesome because people know how to put my feelings exactly into words.