Do you?

How do you feel right now?

Complicated? Mixed Feelings? Feeling Uneasy?

Ah, I actually feel the same. It's the last day of year 2010 today. Look how time actually flies. And today, I finally sit back down and take a look at the pictures I have for this year. I realise that quite a lot of things had happened this year and how different am I from last time till now. I couldn't say that I've change or explain how I change but I know that something in me is different. It sucks to know that it's the last year of high school. It's like telling me that I'm already grown up. I have said that I can't wait to grow up and stuff but then, I kind of regret it. I rely of things too much and I am not ready to stand up alone yet. I feel so uneasy right now and I have no reason for that.

There's a few important things happened to me this year.

I'm not sure about you but it's important to me

Firstly,

My sweet sixteen.

It was overall awesome to celebrate with my new mates and I definitely enjoyed myself. The surprises , the presents and the love they tried hard to deliver to me have paid off. Honestly, I did expect something like Calvin hold the cake and walk towards me. Oh well, dreams are dreams. This reality is just to good to be true. I do not know how to show my gratitude and speak out how I feel face to face infact I feel so pressured about that and I definitely hate talking about my feelings to people even if they're my close friend. It feels weird to me and also, I don't wanna sound dramatic to others. I do feel thankful to each and everyone of them that came to celebrate with me.

(;

The second thing is , the most terrible thing that ever happen.

Just so you know, I was admitted to hospital around July or so for a week. I was forced to lie on the bed for 4 days unless I wanna go toilet. I'm not allow to go out , eat or drink. I undergo all kinds of treatments the doctor can give me and undergo injections for a week straight until I was told to get out of the hospital. My friends made cards for me , they visit me and call me to check whether I'm fine. That's the first time I ever feel so much love. My parents whom is dead worried visits me everyday and even wanna sleep with me in the hospital. I acted like it's fine for me to stayover night alone while inside me, it scares the hell out of me especially during midnight. I keep my laptop on and play the songs. During midnight, the nurse came in and scold me and I was ask to off it if not she's gonna confiscate it. I put the blanket over my head and then close my eyes then go to sleep for exactly a week.

I was asked to wake up at 8am every morning to do check up and asked to get more rest like sleep. I was even force to sleep and not to be given pain killer so that I don't rely on them. It was so pain that I couldn't sleep. Then was injected so that I could straight go to sleep.

Oh well , it's over now.

Then,

I was asked to go spore for checking up.

Everything was so chaotic there. We couldn't find the way and stuff and we only visit sentosa. I wasn't allow to the beach, to eat good food and to not go under the sun so much. The singapore trip was a disaster , to be honest.

And after all the bad things, there's finally something good.

I have a date with ze girls at Tenji.

The food was incredibly awesome and we got our stomach actually burst. And we drank alcohol , played truth or dare and see each other's true colours. Everything seems to be so perfect. Oh well, friendship :D

:D

Class party.

Grocery shopping with classmates.

And the party was ,

THE BOMB :D

Not to forget,

Penang Trip.

I actually spending quite alot of time on this. I annoyed the tour guide, Micheal like everyday to ask bout the price, the hotel and everything that I should ask. I was so glad that quite alot of people went and I was really glad that the hotel was better than I've expected. Everything there was so great. It really feels different to go with friends and family. I got so bored with family there because I've been there with friends.

I definitely miss the late night alcoholic friends with them and then those omg-i-am-drunk moments although I don't really remember what happen then. I guess I just spill out everything I have kept inside me and I truly hope that it's not something big. The breakfast in Flamingo hotel was so awesome expecially the bread pudding. I missed out the 3rd day breakfast and I moaned about it the whole way back home and I was so mad about people not calling us up.

Ah, memories )':

The one that I spend the most time with .

The one that finally comeback.

The forever brain reader.

I'm so glad that I have a few close one that can actually understand me and read my mind.

You have no idea how much it means to me.

You people (;

And

lastly,

'

The boys that I fell for this year.

See the numbers on their pictures? It's already said there. The name and the group they're from.

Calvin ,

Just so you know, he's my forever number one. I've actually like him for four years. He's not that attractive and good looking compared to the other five of them but I do not know why , I like him the most. Sorry, I mean that I love him. His smile , his attitude, his everything. I hope he really can make it to Malaysia soon. Miss him hell lots especially the time when he look into my eyes and say thankyou. Gosh ! :D:D:D:D

KyuJong,

Just have a crush on him a few weeks ago. I do not know why too. He seems so adorable to me. He look so humble and obedient and fortunately he is too. After all the videos I watch, I just couldn't stop looking at him. Omg , and my heart stops and look at him for a while. The feeling is amazing.

DongHo,

Nothing much to say ,

Cute .:D

He's younger than me by 20days tho. I couldn't stop imagining him calling me Noona :D

HyungJun,

I like the way he try hard and I like the way he talk, he act. He's so cute. I do not like him at first but slowly , I take notice of him. His condition is the same like Calvin's (; He's awesome and I'd really wish he would get more attention and shine brighter tho.

Jiro,

Forever dark knight to me. He look so strong as if he can protect the world. And he look so good. And for now although he is quite successful , I truly want him to shine brighter and all his hard work would actually paid off. I can't imagine him carrying bricks around the construction area. I hope what he gets equal to every brick have carried in his hands. He's so good to be true. He's the real man.

JungMin,

Sexy Charisma. You just need to know that he deserve this. To me, he is a very sexy person infact I think he's the definition of sexy. I couldn't stop smiling when he does all the moves, I love it so much.

That sums up my year 2010.

How about yours?

Just remember to enjoy your day today, don't ever waste any minute of it.

Enjoy yourselves.

xo

Unbelievable.

Huh , start already ?

Waita waita , hair hair.

Actually,

It's quite hard for me to believe that year 2010 is going to end in two days.

Ah , so fast.

TT

Shikieuro.

Oh , hey (; !

I'm here to blog about what I've done during

Christmas eve and Christmas.

As you know, I'm not a 'word' kind of person

so probably pictures will do the talking.

I've been sticking to Kpop lately.

First , I like SS501 and nao, I think I like UKISS.

Okay fine , I only like one person in UKISS.

Ah DongHo! He's 20 days younger than me

so I can't call him Oppa. Such a turn off pfft.

But, he's really cute. Google his pictures or something.

I'm too lazy to post it up here , or maybe

next entry or something .

Check out Ukiss Man Man HaNi Music Video.

The one with red hair which have a shape like a shit,

cutest face that is standing infront is him.

Don't fall in love with him ah, kill you. RAWR.

Christmas Eve.

Woke up at 3pm -.-

And then leave the house around , 4pm or later.

In the cab.

Reached and then meet ze people up.

Eat pepper lunch and it was good, really.

Then , walk around. Grabbed a shoe from

cotton on and to be honest, it's a good buy.

Ah , perhaps I should go back and buy all colours :p

Don't know how ended up at Snowflakes .

Went to shop around , walked around Pavillion.

Then decided to head to Fahrenheit 88

Toilet break.

MUAHAHHAA. outside the toilet.

To be honest,

Fahrenheit isn't happening at all.

So we decided to leave

and walk around the streets .

Many people selling christmas hat and stuff.

And the crowd is just simply horrible.

Got our way back to Pavi

and then squeeze through the crowd.

The bubbles which act as fake snow

makes the crowd even worse.

Ah, I really wanna celebrate Christmas in snow tho :(

Settled down at Al Amar, at the top floor of pavi.

High class arab restaurant , omg.

Shishaed.

QUAH. :D

Blaaaa , my hair colour.

As the time gets later,

the crowd get worse.

People performing downstairs and yes, how awesome (;

Nobody Nobody but chuuuu ~ :D

oh hey (;

don't ask.

The boys went to have dinner

and we ze girls talked about life and those.

It's great. I like doing these kind of things.

All these heart to heart talk thing.

Well :D

Then we don't know what's wrong with us

to walk at the streets.

We are like putting ourselves in trouble , mg.

SEE THE CROWD D:

Got sprayed for no reason for so many times.

Hair and body was so sticky. Ah D:

Settled down at Starbucks.

Then chitchat for awhile

then get back to pavi.

And while we were walking back it's already

2am. But the streets is still noisy.

The spraying mood still going on.

Quah And I slept over at Mingli's.

We reached her house around 3 something in the morning

and then both of them went to sleep

while I stayed up for Fugitive Plan B.

Headed off to MidV .

Had breakfast at Din Dai Feng.

Was so exhausted.

Then headed to Pyramid with KTM :D

Public transport!!

Then Quah teach us how to take the one buck bus

to Pyramid. Ah, this is so cool omg :D

It's just one buck. I repeat. FREAKING ONE BUCK :D hehe.

don't ask why so excited.

Quah went home.

Ming and I went and sing.

Repeated SS501 songs like mad :D

Home around 530pm.

I went to sleep around 6pm.

Sound so hectic aite.

But it was all good , for me.

Sometimes , we should learn how to respect other people. And people like you should learn how to stand at people's side and think. If there are people agreeing whatever you have said about me means you're right but I don't think there are. If I'm bossy and unreasonable, what are you? And if really I'm bossy and unreasonable, I still have the reason to. I don't stand strong for whatever I say it's right means it's right. I'm not you. You're disgusting. I never thought that you're beautiful Never will.

You guess what ,

I never liked you.

But without me , you'll have to sing 'I'm a loner'.

loves.

Am I that easy.

Merry Belated Christmas (;

What a good christmas this year. Celebrated with close ones with the pipe , with good nightviews at pavillion. What should I ask for more.

Have a major headache this afternoon. Have been sleeping for long. I slept on 6pm during Christmas and woke up today at 3pm. I guess I love my bed quite alot. Nah, I'm too lazy. It's how funny actually that I just remembered how I cried during Christmas eve last year and how much I've waste my time looking at those hopes which have been hanging around me for long to keep me hurting again and again. It's how funny how I speak out the pain through my tears and roll myself with sorrows to sleep on Christmas eve and wake up like I'm torn apart the next day. It's so pathetic that I stayed at home and still looking at those hopes I've received during Christmas. And, it's so incredibly funny that I made a wish to the stars that , that Christmas I wanted you. I wanted you.

How stupid of me ruining Christmas.

Can't wait for New Year. Can't wait to turn seventeen. Can't wait for senior year.

loves.

Last christmas I gave you my heart.

Christmas eve tonight.

Enjoy yourself .

love.

所有力气不是为我而是为你才真么做.

I'm so lazy to just elaborate everything.

I'll just make it the short one.

Journey started round' 8am in exact.

And yeah, there we go .

I camwhore a little in the car

because I loved my nails too much.

And morning sun give nice lightings

and always make the face look brighter, idk why.

NAILS :D

Slept in the car and then wake up,

Munch a packet of nuts then go back to sleep.

Had lunch at Bukit Tambun. SEAFOOD :D

Then, straight to Penang.

And otw there, I keep reminiscing about class trip.

Ah, all the fun we actually had , how awesome :D

I miss my friends real badly, can't wait to go to school tho.

Time flies heh? Next year it's the last year already.

Gosssh, how fast.

Penang Bridge.

And it took us around half an hour journey to our hotel.

Tanjung Bungah Hotel i guess.

The scenery was really good.

Infact, it was totally awesome.

My family have an extra room

so I have a room all to myself.

It may sound creepy and yeah, you know

those doong doong , floating thing

but yeah ahhaa.

It was great tho .

I can throw my clothes everywhere

and do anything I want

and even have a nice bubble bath

without anyone rushing me for the toilet.

After that, I changed

and get to the pool and beach.

Seriously have to mosaic those stuff behind there.

*cough cough*

Gurney Drive for dinner.

Have a tour round Penang ,

then round 12 back to hotel and sleep.

Day 2.

Woke up and dress up.

Since breakfast is excluded,

we headed to town to eat.

:p

Had the famous Harmie .

Well, they call it hokkien mee in Penang.

Super hokkien mee from one world cafe.

Yeap, the shoplot is call super hokkien mee.

HAHAHA . it wasn't bad tho.

karipap!

I have no idea why it's shape is like this

but, damn cute. Idk what's the pink thing,

I removed it once I tasted it. It's so sour.

We went to temple then.

stoner.

pray pray (;

I kneel for quite a long time

because I have too many things to ask for.

To queensbay mall then ,

Outside of the mall.

teeeeshirrrt :p

Well, my eyes was so pain.

Then we went back to hotel ,

went to the beach and the pool again.

Have dinner at Batu Feringgi ,then.

Oh well,

I have a room all to myself right :p

Went to sleep around five.

Watch around two movies from the tv.

Woke up at nine then eat

the famous mee goreng.

To be honest,

I don't think there's anything special tho.

It was too sweet.

Then back to the hotel,

pack up and GO HOME :D

And seriously ,

I miss my bed so much );

Slept in the car , had a good dream.

ps. I like KyuJong alot! :p

xo.