Since I'm very little, my idea of romance is how like it is portrays in movies. The guy will often compliment you, telling you how beautiful you are even when you look like a mess , buy you roses and diamond rings and often, make you feel like you deserves more than just best in the world.
The movie version of romance used to be enticing, and sometimes still is - that's why, I watch romance movie once in a while. The two hours filled me up with emotions and imaginations. But once it's over, I clearly understand that those are just a storyline created by people to fulfil the fantasy and emptiness in-between the gaps for single people or couples who doesn't have enough . That is why people watch them.
Movies are escapes from real life. And guys often think that girls actually want the love portray in movies; that is only partially true because we all have to understand that there is something that is illogical to be done in real life. Instead of being in a 120 minutes perfect romantic storyline made out of fantasies and illusions, I'd rather to have something more real to feel and last more than just 120 minutes which nobody will ever know.
Romance is an essential between two person, but it doesn't necessarily need to be done financially and stepping out of the comfort zone which brings unnecessarily inconvenience. Sometimes, they could be done spontaneously , daily and effortlessly as long as two individuals are participating in it.
What is romance to me?
1. I am pretty sure that this gesture is a killer for most girls and those who doesn't like this will be the ones that haven't wash their hair yet, lolol. I enjoy the feeling of how my stomach twist into a knot whenever someone brush my hair to the back of my ear, and then look into my eyes again. And there's where I stop talking and realize how good looking he is.
This gesture is effortlessly romantic.
2. Watching late night movie on the couch together in our most comfortable state until we fall asleep on the couch. I used to think having a date by going to the cinema should be on my tick-box list of romance. Now, I appreciate being comfortable and just two of us alone.
just by thinking of it makes me smile.
3. I really want to be the first on his mind once he's awake, but I also acknowledge that everyone have their own life to go through and I think there are more things which is more important than me at one point. I don't need someone to think of me before the day starts, I just need someone to remembers me after the day ends. Because, I want to be the one he fall back to after a tiring day.
It doesn't need to be a call, just text me goodnight to remind me that you've thought of me today.
4. Guys driving with one hand is attractive ; and it would be better if the other is holding my hand. Perhaps we could sing along to the song playing on the radio , or you could tell me about something you think that is worth sharing or maybe I'll do that, or we could just enjoy the whole ride quietly till we reach where we are supposed to head.
5. Often, girls are the ones who get enthusiastic when it comes to travelling with their partners. I do not need him to do all the job ; but I would love that he take participation into things that I asked him about and to know what he want to do. I want him to be involved and look forward to spend time together somewhere else foreign and create memories together. The planning process is going to be tiring, but we know that the trip is going to go very very well.
6. When you buy me coffee without me asking, I'll instantly fall deeper for you. I don't need exactly starbucks - I just need a cup of coffee. Because without a cup of coffee, I will be procaffienating the whole day.
I am addicted to caffeine but once you buy me a cup of coffee in order to ease my addiction, my addiction will then immediately reverts to you.
7. It's so romantic to have pointless conversation that goes no where. Not every conversation has to be meaningful, it just need to be a two-way communication. Talking about everything doesn't need to come up with any conclusion from the talk.
We just need to know that despite not having any particular topic , we are still there for each other. All this pointless 'everything' means more than alot to me , as long as our feelings are mutual.
8. Just like how John Green described in Looking for Alaska , ' Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep together in the most innocent sense of phase.'
Nothing is more romantic than falling asleep together ; because we know that tomorrow, we will be seeing each other once our eyes are open. And this is the sense of security and belonging.
9. Surprises doesn't need to be costly. He just need to listen to what I say, and do it quietly behind my back. I told him the night before that I would like to have pizza but I'm on diet, so tomorrow night we will have pizza and then he will still tell me that I am fine after gobbling down half of it. Leave a note for me out of no where. Buy me one rose when the little boy ask if he wants to. Call me and ask me to get ready in 15 minutes out of no where because we are going out.
Keep it simple and in between us.
10. Out of everything , this would be the most difficult phase to head to. Often, girls will be fragile and guys will need to be a little more dominant to give the sense of security. This is essentially, or at least in public. It makes me feel more than just romance when a guy open up to me and to tell me things that he don't usually tell other people. Perhaps they would feel that their feelings are dreams are meant to be kept and only listen to yours. However, things are supposed to be reciprocated to keep this going.
He may be talking about something very little like how he likes to have his drinks serve with little ice all the time, and how tight the pants is making him unable to breathe. These things may seem little and nonsensical. Or even, he could tell me about his emotions and things he thought he will never want to tell anyone else.
Whatever he is saying, he is opening up to me - and I'll listen. I'll listen quietly about what he have to say, and realized how perfectly flaw he is and I'm not the only one feeling this way. This is where I would fall for him deeper - even with his flaws and still think that he is amazing.
The idea of my romance is not dramatic or interesting enough for other people to be jealous of , and not that kind of love story that people want to watch on screen. But it is good enough for me.
Love at first sight is always nonsense to me because love needs to be developed over time , over series of little things that is never be seen as important. Over conversations and more time spent together, you find out each other's genuine flaws and just fall in love before you realized it.
Then it leads to the hardest part of falling in love which will lead to another constant fear of losing each other. When feelings take control, people often lose their own logics and cross their self-boundaries without knowing. It's scary to lose someone whom you are deeply in love with. But I will always choose the possibility of pain despite everything goes in a whole straight line and monotonous , even if it leads to separation. I think it's all worth the pain because whatever he , whom in future, would make me feel around him will be greater than how much of pain he will bring me.
I want romance from real life, and I want all to be real, genuine and extremely ordinary. Because this is real and everyday I would wake up without feeling lost. There is no need to be perfect, only worthy.
As long as you are still in love with another, lying on the bed and staring at the ceiling together without talking is already freaking romantic. One day, we will find a person whom we want simple romance from.
And I hope that you have already found them to spend your Valentine's with.