I learn to accept - 2015.

December has been a busy month for me - a lot of work from uni, a lot of travelling and a lot of random last minute plan.

 Last year December, my thoughts and perspectives towards things are so different. I'm glad that I grow every year. However, I am not sure if I have become a better person. Last year December was filled with too much of emotions which does not really matter to me now - maybe it still does, but I've learn how to slowly putting it away from affecting my throughout everything. I'm thankful to be able to travel around the UK for the past month and visit many beautiful places which I've never thought I would have the chance to visit. 

I wish I could articulate all the thoughts from the experience I gained throughout many dramatic scenarios and last minute travelling around the places in words , to show you how much I've learned from it. It would be too lengthy and I think it's unnecessary to bore you with things that you may not be interested in so I have decided to summarize them. 

Things I've learned this year ; 

1. No matter how difficult the situation is, it will pass. Things will get better in the end, you just need to wait.

2. Distance is so important - and sometimes, it creates a greater connection between people. When you get too close, you get hurt. Always draw a mere line in between. 

3. Nothing breaks my heart more than seeing my ahma cried over the phone when I am at the other side of the world. I will always be her granddaughter till the day that I don't exist in the world, but it feels like she have lose me when I am far away.

4. Travelling makes my problems so small to be even regarded as problems. 

5. Being independent is a choice.

6. Nothing makes me happier than seeing my love ones happy , despite I am not the reason of it and will never be the reason of it anymore. I will stay in a corner and see them live their life without me. 

7. If you love something too much, let it go - if it comes back, it will be yours. If not, it was never meant to be in the first place.

8. Saying goodbye always hurt - in future, I only want to meet people that I will only say goodnight to. 

9. Promises are empty until there is an action out of the words said. 

10. I realized that I can cook pretty well. (lol)

11. No matter what you do, there will always be people commenting. The better you get, the uglier the comments are. 

12.People who talks bad about you is either jealous of you, want to be you and realized that they can never be you. So screw them and live your life.

13. Time does not really heal, it only eases the pain with good memories created. Sometimes, it still hurts when it crashes down in the middle of the night.

14, My alcohol intake increased (wtf)

15. Changing an environment to live is a good choice to grow and to forget.( at least, try to)

There are many more things I want to tell you which could be summarised in a short quote. However, it would be too private to be shared because I only want it to be buried at the back of my head. It belongs to me and only me.

I hope that you learn something from 2015. Last year, I wanted a closure. This year, I learn to accept that sometimes, there will not be reasons to closure. Things just end according to the time. 

Enjoy the last few days of 2015. 

x. 

Hull Fair 2015.

#1

A few weeks back, I visited Hull Fair - which is claimed to be one of the largest travelling funfair in Europe. 

I only went to fun fair once or twice back home because it's always stuffy and hot. The weather here makes things a little better. Perhaps it was on a weekday thus, there are not as many people as I thought. 

#2

#3

#4

I can't handle the pretty colourful lights in the dark. This is something I really love. 

#5

#6

#7

Patty, smashed peas and chips.

I think this combination is rather weird. I absolutely hate smashed peas. I think it's really slimy and disgusting. I thought the patty would be like the ones we have in burger. However, the patty is really soft - like soft version of hash brown with bits of meat , covered with bread crumbs. 

We all love chips so there is not complain. 

#8

#9

What is your type of chocolate?

#10

#11

#12

hot dogs with lots of onions , yummm.

#13

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#15

#16

#17

I was showing my friend that I posted a picture of her on snapchat while laughing. That is because she was squatting on the floor , lol.

#18

Super love this picture. 

We both look so happy!

#19

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#21

It was a fun night with them girls. 

'Hull' of a night, lololol.

xx

Bad Luck Carmen.

All my pictures will be in black and white because it was the most epic day ever. I know that leaving home is never easy but I didn't know that it will strip me down to nothingness. I don't even have words to speak how I feel at that moment of time. 

1. I leave my place late to catch a morning train from Hull to London- which was already an hour and a half before.

2. I leave my place late because I was enjoying my breakfast wtf slap me please.

3. When I was on the tube in the way to Kings Cross ( where I need to take my train) , it shows 5 minutes to departure and I am no where close. So I dragged my luggage to the side and gave up.

4. I do not have a card or money, or any card to withdraw money - thus I am broke wtf fml. Too much shopping. 

5. I called my best friend and search for help because I was speechless at myself. So she bought me a bus ticket because I insist of going back to Hull ( Idk what's wrong with me but I think I should have stay in London for another few days instead.) For the first time, I feel so grateful to have this pain in the ass. 

Love you, best friend.

6. Though I am broke but I can still afford food which is not that bad. I was having Chai Latte infront of the bus station. Nothing beats a good cup of hot drink in the cold weather. Well, at least there is something positive after a bad start of the morning.

7. And the toilet in the bus makes picture perfect because they have nice lights - positive vibes x2

8. So I fell asleep and hoping to reach once I wake up since it's going to be a 6 hours journey. National Express is so bad that it feels like there is no heater on despite its on.

9. I woke up after two hours because there is a woman talking on the phone (fml) and I did not bring my headset ( fml x2)

10. AND THEN THE BUS STOPPED (FML X3)

11. The bus stopped in the middle of the highway because there is an accident going on infront so, everything remains stationary until the road is clear. 

12. It's getting cold, heater not working. And I was stuck for 2 hours on the highway TT 

13. I was supposed to transit at Leeds and then to Hull - but due to the traffic jam and accident, I missed my last bus back to Hull and the next bus is next morning.( MG FML X4). I was so speechless at that point because I am stuck in Leeds and the transportation is gonna stop working since it is already dark. 

14. I didn't cry at all because there is a will and there will be a way. ( positive vibes x3)

15. I went to the counter and told them about the incident.

16. My positive vibes finally chases all my bad luck away that they said that they will sort things out.

17. I got a free train ticket back to Hull! god blessed me.

18. And I took this picture from Leeds bus station to Leeds Train station - feeling blessed and happy.

19. I reached Hull after 9 hours of travelling - dragging my luggage up and down the stairs, under the rain and feeling paranoid about getting pick pocket.

20. When I reached my place in Hull, I let out a relieve sigh - never been so contented and happy with my life.

21. And then I realized that being independent is so difficult and definitely not in my bones (at least, when it come to these kind of critical situation) , but I overcome it. 

22. I've overcome that day and I think I can make it to anywhere now.

So everyone, please count your blessings from time to time. Nothing is better than home. However, stepping out of your comfort zone will help you achieve something else and realized that the world is so big and so much too offer.

signing off,

bad luck Carmen that day.

I take my breakfast very seriously.

Back home in Malaysia, I never have to worry about my first meal of the day. If I do not have classes or particular events, I normally sleep till noon - waking up after 12. I often to wake up to grandma's marvelous cooking or she will buy something for me. I can even count with my fingers of the times I cook myself my first meal of the day and that included, pouring cereal and milk in my bowl. Or, I'll have brunch with my friends. 

Breakfast is so not common to me , back home. I also skip breakfast before I go to class - which I realized that it's a bad habit. 

So ever since I settle down in Hull, I decided to have breakfast everyday (unless I wake up after 12pm, which I rarely do). 

Muesli, milk with banana.

This is no doubt my first breakfast here - and it shows so much of laziness in one picture. However, it's healthy - no?

Brown toast, avocado and eggs with my 2in1 instant coffee. 

Have I told you that avocados is one of best thing that ever happened?

I can have it every single day with anything!

My decorations of my breakfast platter failed - I never have sense of art in my bones.

My meatball + cabbage leftovers which I fried with pasta tomato sauce to be served with fried eggs, bacons and toast , with a cup of tea.

This combination is definitely not a healthy choice but it was so satisfying.I skipped lunch. I was so bloated after that. 

Dem feels.

After that sinful combination, this would be a healthier one. With avocados again! I cut off bacon and sausages and replaced them with another egg and my favourite sweet corn and green bell peppers cut in cubes. 

And cheers to my stripes boxer , lol. 

Bought yummy croissants down the street and replace my normal seeded wholemeal bread. Ham seems like a healthier choice compared to bacon - so I bought it. However, I crave for bacon more after that so the magic fail. 

You see, 

we should just choose what we are meant to be with - just like the relationship between Bacon and I. 

And some days were so bad that I over-fried my omelette and burnt my toasts.

The only nice one was the baked beans with corn -.-

I am not sick with English Breakfast , but somedays I crave for something heavier for the first meal of the day. And nothing is better than meatball pasta. 

When the weather gets cold, I crave for chinese styled noodle soup so I made it. However, the clear soup was a little tasteless since I made them in desperation. 

However, it is so comforting to have them. 

This is the very chinese side of me.

And also, there are the days where I want to wake up to wantanmee and pan mee. :(

And this is the biggest portion I've ever made for myself and it was so satisfying. 

Avocados , boiled eggs, croissant and eggs - not forgetting with a cup of essential morning coffee.

It's funny how my lifestyle slowly changes after I come here. And my enthusiasm in cooking has increase dramatically. It's amazing how things change once you meet a new surroundings.

Well, you can see - I take my breakfast very seriously.

xx

No 35

On the 35th floor at Sofitel , hence the name of the restaurant. 

No doubt that Melbourne is a city filled with good food. I am never once hungry since I step into that city. I only know that their brunch culture is strong, and never really did try their fine dinner so I requested for one ( more like insisting on one). 

This place serve contemporary European food with a commanding views of Melbourne city. Night city lights are my favourite. That is because I agree to 'Stars can't shine without darkness.' 

This is upon arrival. 

Gosh, how beautiful.

I need a picture with this - because I am a tourist. The view is too good to be true.

Complimentary bread and butter.

The bread was a little dry but the butter was melted which is easy for us to dip or apply on it. 

Sashimi Kingfish at $26

Decided on a gluten-free starter since it sound healthier after stuffing myself with good brunch everyday. Kimchi-marinated watermelon which was so good with matsushia dressing. Not to mention that the kingfish was so fresh that they do not even need to cook it but serving it raw. This starter is so much of a good stuff.

Gippsland Fresh braised beef  $40

I ordered the steak medium and it was good- not too dry. I love the roasted baby carrots which was already caramelized before they even cook. Potato puree was yummy and topped with bordelaise sauce which makes the combination all perfect.  

Tasmanian Wild Clover Roast rump of Lamb $42

The lamb hit on point since it was juicy. Something special about this dish is where they use a little bit of chocolate sauce. I love the butternut pumpkin puree and roasted artichokes.

Seared King salmon $38

Charcoal grilled baby cos at its best topped with scallops with Avruga Caviar. Garlic cream with chimichurri for the sauce makes this gluten free dish , perfect. 

Sauteed mixed garlic Mushrooms $10 , as our sides. 

Nothing beats good food, a good glass of wine and fascinating view.

This is life.

And of course, 

not forgetting the best part of a dinner!

Dessert :D

Crème caramel $16

Tonka bean custard, fresh berries and raisins, teardrop meringue and edible flowers.

Everything sums up in a picture.

Overall, no35 gave me a great night. This dining experience is one of the best I ever had.

no35   Sofitel Melbourne On Collins, 

Level 35, 25 Collins Street, Melbourne VIC 3000