Hey,
I know that my blog is quite dead already these few days and really,I have been loosing visitors since I never blog about my outings anymore.
and,
I read back my old blog and my previous post and realize things changed, changed so much. Not only I changed, my surrounding changed and my circle of friends is slowly changing too. We couldn't blame other people for changing,it's always their choice. No matter it's for the good or for the bad,it's always their choice. We shouldn't comment on others since we do change too.
Just when everything start to become different,I've always thought that there's one thing that never change.
which is,
Family.
We cannot deny that love to family never changes. No matter how we do wrong or how rebellious we get to our family members, they will never give up on us and also,never go against us. This is because, the love towards each other is so deep , strong and stable.We don't only have the same blood flowing in us,we have a super power bond that couldn't separate us.
But,
no matter how things have been staying the same,it changes too.
I really poured my heart out for this entry.
The fact is,
my parents is separated.
Don't ask why.
Because, the reason isn't important anymore but the fact is.We don't need to digest the reason,we digest the fact.
No,it's not a joke.
They have not been seeing each other for 2 months already and so,I have not been seeing Chloe and Jasper for 2 months either.
And,
I see them yesterday.
It was suppose to be a very heart-warming reunion if we meet up.But where we met up is the worst place ever for family to meet up. My brother,Jasper just walked across like I'm transparent. He was looking on the floor and walked very very quickly.I do not have the bravery to call him either. I thought I'm okay by seeing them but suddenly, there's a strong feeling hitting me,dragging my heart down to my stomach.
Then,
she ran towards me and called me , 'Jie'. It've been two months since I last met her and hugged her. I was fighting with my emotions inside me, I lost.I start to sob and she innocently asking me,why am I crying.
Before I say a word,she back to mummy's arms.
I miss her so much.
She's my closest siblings, Chloe.
I spent so much time with her since she's born.From putting her to sleep , showering her to bringing her to malls and buying her things. To be more like a sister, I feel like her mum.
The 5-month old , Chloe.
10 months old Chloe.
1 year old Chloe
2 year old Chloe.
3 year old Chloe.
4 year old.
5 year old which is this year.
Looking at her,from a baby to a little girl. From crawling to walking.From murmuring to talking.From sucking a milk bottle to hold her own spoon and eat.It brings out so much of memories.
And,
I thought that I could continuously looking at her growing up from holding her own spoon to eat to ordering a menu, from talking to me to start debating with me,from walking to running, from watching cartoons to watch korean dramas with me,from singing ABC to modern songs,from helping me choosing colours of clothes with me to asking me to buy clothes for her
and most of all,
from a little girl to young lady.
Now,
the future plans is ruined due to a mistake that doesn't involve us.
Things changed.
This is her , stopping me from replying messages in year 2010.
I was so annoyed so..
(':
I have been taking care of her since she knows how to walk.She always cry in the middle of her sleep due to nightmares,I will always pat her back until she sleeps.
There's one time where I'm sick and my throat was so dry that I almost die of dehydration and I can't even move, she was at the side playing with her dolls and came to me,asking what I want.I said,I want water. She quickly walked down to the kitchen and fetched me some in a cup.By the time she walk up to me, there's almost half cup of the water gone.That half-cup of water don't only make me hydrated,I feel so loved. That half cup of liquid was filled with love. It's not easy for a 3 year old to do that, she can't even walk with balance.
When I finished it,she asked me whether I want more.I nodded my head and she went down again and came up with half-cup of water.
):
I get so mad that we have to separate.
I love her so much... ):
and,
she's the one I missed the most.
I believe that,
all of my sister miss her too.
so cute (:
I believe that,
eventhough we're meeting in future, we wouldn't be as close as now and maybe,we might be in a very critical situation.
And
no matter what is going to happen in future,
I hope she could grow up well.I want her to be healthy and happy.
I know that she might not remember me anymore but it's okay,as long as she's happy and healthy.She's too young to understand and to know the truth. I don't want her to suffer like us.
Chloe,
Please grow up well..
Everything turned into memories already.
What we could do is to move on..
Nomatter how much pain is going to take, we have to accept the truth and then move on with life because time and life doesn't stops for us.
Time will heal all of us eventually.
Good things come to an end,right? (:
love,
used to have a perfect family.
ps. I miss my younger siblings so much.. ):
pps. My dad is a superman,I'm proud of him (: