Just before anything ,
I would like to recommend you this song from 2NE1.
I'll just give you the english translation of this song first because I totally love the lyrics.
Ugly - 2NE1
[CL]
I’m trying to smile brightly but
I don’t like it
I’m not pretty, I’m not beautiful
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
[BOM]
I’m trying to sing but
No one is listening
I’m not pretty, I’m not beautiful
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
[DARA]
Why am I this ugly
What must I do for me to be able to smile brightly like you?
[MINJI]
I’m getting angry again, why can’t I ever be perfect
I simply put the blame on my ugly appearance in this broken mirror
[BOM]
Don’t look at me, I hate this feeling right now
I want to hide away somewhere, I want to escape
This world is full of lies
[CL]
I think I’m ugly
And nobody wants to love me
Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be pretty
Don’t lie to my face tellin’ me I’m pretty
I think I’m ugly
And nobody wants to love me
Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be pretty
Don’t lie to my face cuz I know I’m ugly
[MINJI]
Don’t tell me that you can understand me so easily
My ugly and crooked heart may even come to resent you
[BOM]
Don’t force me to talk, I’m not right for you
The cold thorns inside that patronizing gaze suffocate me
[MINJI]
Don’t come closer, I don’t even want your concern
I want to leave away to somewhere, I want to shout out
This world is full of lies
[CL]
I think I’m ugly
And nobody wants to love me
Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be pretty
Don’t lie to my face tellin’ me I’m pretty
I think I’m ugly
And nobody wants to love me
Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be pretty
Don’t lie to my face cuz I know I’m ugly
[DARA]
All alone
I’m all alone
All alone
I’m all alone
There is no such thing as warmth
There is no one by my side
All alone
I’m all alone
I’m always alone
I’m all alone
I’m always alone
There’s no such thing as warmth
Next to my side, there’s not even anyone to embrace me
[CL]
I think I’m ugly
And nobody wants to love me
Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be prety
Don’t lie to my face tellin’ me I’m pretty
I think I’m ugly
And nobody wants to love me
Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be pretty
Don’t lie to my face cuz I know I’m ugly
Don't you think those lyrics kind of say out how most of the girls feel?
This world is very unfair, just so you know and today I think I'm going to confess how I truly feel and you guys shouldn't take it too seriously because it's only what I think and what I've been through.
Have you ever felt like you're being ignored and treated like you're transparent sometimes being around somebody who is better looking at you?
I have been through that and it's more than one time.
I'm not even close to pretty, I'm so far away from the word ' hot' and I'm not even skinny. I'm not adorable or smart enough. I don't think I belong to the average group or maybe I'm below than that. No, I'm not emoing or having a low self-esteem right now. It's just a fact.
Honestly,
reality and truth is very mean sometimes.
When a pretty girl laugh, they say she's cute and when a girl who's average-looking girl does that, they insult her. When a pretty girl burp or do something embarrassing, it will automatically become very adorable and the other way round, if this happen to an average-looking girl, everything seems to be ugly and retarded.
Okay, to make things less complicated.
I'll use myself as an example.
I'm talking right now and starts explaining things which I'm suppose to and so, this pretty girl just come around cutting off my conversation.When I want to continue and cut her off, people around especially boys will start yelling at me and ask me to shut up. And when I'm eating ice-cream, people starts staring as if I'm a dinosaur munching a crocodile down but when a pretty girl having ice-cream, it seems like she have never tasted ice-cream, looking all pretty and elegant.
You notice?
Everything a pretty girl does seems to be so elegant and everything others do seems so extra.
I want to be like those 'pretty girls'. Without any effort, everything they do seems be better and everything they say sounds better. When they break down or fall sick, the next second there will be somebody offering their warm embrace. The way the boys look and talk to them is different, they look at them as angel and they look at me as if like I'm an alien. When they go shopping and spend a huge amount of money, they're so glamorous and when I go shopping, I'm a stupid spoil kid.When they cry,they look so weak and beautiful until everyone will ask and care about the situation they are being in.But, when I cry, they just ask me to wake up and accept the fact.
I want to be pretty.
I want to be beautiful.
I want to look good.
I don't hate myself for being born this way but really, I just want to look better. At least, they treat me like a girl, a normal girl. I'm so sick that they treat me like I'm a superwoman who can handle everything myself. When I cry, I want a shoulder for me to cry on not a pack of tissue dump to my face and then, get scolded for no reason. And, I'm so sick of being treated like I could handle everything.
Look does matters.
"Don't judge a book by its cover" is bullshit. They judge, everyone judge, I judge too. They ask you to be yourself and the next second, they judge you.
This world is full of lies.
The point is,
I'm so sick of not being treated like a normal girl.I have feelings too and I'm super sensitive. You don't expect me to be happy-go-lucky 24/7. My ability of acting isn't that good. I want to be cared and feel loved.I want somebody to tap my head and tell me it's okay.I'm so sick of them yelling at me to ask me to stop crying then shove the fact in my face.I don't want to go through those crying sleepless night alone.I want to find somebody but end up, I'll get the truth that I'm annoying.When I'm sad, I want somebody to try hard to make me laugh and make my day better, not leaving me alone and hope I can get over it myself.
I don't want to be yelled at when I'm trying to explain things. When I really mean what I say, I don't want people to say that I'm acting cute or innocent.I'm so sick of looking tough and strong and nobody seems to care.
I want to be pretty, really.
I'm so jealous of pretty girls.
They shouldn't look down on themselves and shouldn't deny when people praise them.They just so beautiful, just the way they are.
I wonder if there's a day when somebody tell me they think that I'm beautiful from the bottom of their heart.
Yeah, it will never happen but I just couldn't stop hoping.
thanks for spending your time reading this moaning entry.
nights.
p.sDon't send me a text after reading this, telling me I'm so pretty just because you feel pitiful for me.I don't want my friends to do that because they want to cheer me up. Please, I don't need it.
