6 days more to spm.
And,
I'm still here thinking about things that doesn't relate.
I've heard a confession ytd.
When I look at those words that person says, my heart skipped alot of beats.It's not fluttering but sinking.There's a load on my heart, pushing my heart down to my stomach.I am suppose to cry, to break down or maybe even gone crazy. But no, I was so calm and I've kind of expected it. The pain didn't go any further , it just remains as numb.I felt so numb and annoyed. I feel like lying on my bed and go blank, and I did.It doesn't make me feel better either.
I have not been feeling this kind of thing for a quite sometime.
I don't know how to express what's in me but what I clearly know that is , I am still alive. I'm still alive with my feelings. I thought I'd die with feelings and heartache after a major bad end of heartbreaking relationship at the past. But now, I'm feeling it again. I'm not sure how to put this but I'm glad that I still feel what I'm suppose to feel. Although this feeling doesn't kill me as much as the past do, I still feel so disturbed. I can't think of anything that isn't related to the problems.
I don't want to make a big fuss out of it and start telling everybody.It's not that important.I still talk about it to my close and love ones in skype about it.And, it definitely makes me feel so comforted.
I'm glad how I learn from my past mistakes.I learn not to give in and put too much hope and trust on somebody and I followed my rule.It saved me from a major pain. Although it's still killing me but really, I felt so much better compared to last time.
People do learn from mistakes, from the pain and no doubt that pain change people.
That's how we learn how to deal with life, no?
Let's get over spm together (:
loves.